Katya

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In 2014, when I was 6, I experienced the war for the first time. Back then, it was on a smaller scale. My hometown, Lyman, was under bombardment for only several days. And last year, it was as if I went back to my childhood – I was little, but I remember how we went to our Crimea. On February 24, I didn’t sleep well because I was sick. Then my friend from Kramatorsk called me and said that the local airfield had been blown up. It felt as if the anxiety settled in my stomach. I couldn’t even straighten my back because my panic was steadily increasing.

I don’t understand why it had to be our city. It is small, and there are no strategic objects.

We hoped it would be like in 2014: we’d sit in the basement for a few days, and everything would subside. Besides, at first, we only heard explosions from afar. But I still wanted to leave to feel secure because no words could describe the anxiety I felt those days. It affected my physical condition leading to headaches and dizziness.

Gradually, the counters in the shops, pharmacies, and ATMs grew empty, and we could hear the explosions here and there. I tried to make bread rusks to have some food stock, but I would eat them all at once because I was too nervous. Now I associate that taste with the war.

Thanks to the place my Mom worked at, we had the opportunity to leave. With Mom, Granny, and our cat, we left for the village of Klubivka in the Khmelnytskyi region, which took us three days. We were given a hospital ward and stayed there for a year. Dad stayed in Lyman. He didn’t fight but did not want to leave our city either. One day he was caught in shelling and was wounded, and within a few days, he was gone. When Mom told me about that, my heart stood still.

I often have dreams about us hugging.

I used to be interested in psychology and heard that when you write down your thoughts, it calms you down. I decided to try it and recorded what was happening, hoping I would feel better. While doing it, I imagined myself as the main character of a movie and romanticised all the events in my head. It’s easier to live this way because, if you look from the outside, it is not the best period of my life now. But for me, it’s an impetus for development. If these trials fall upon me, it means that I am capable of dealing with them and moving on. For me, life has always been a priority.
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I hope that victory will come soon.

I want to go back home, but what home?

A broken city where nothing is left, and people are walking around like ghosts? For now, I want to major in international relations, and I see myself as a significant person in the future. I would like to change the situation in our country and people’s thinking for the better.